whereof, thereof.

today i spoke to flo on the telephone for the first time since i’ve been gone, which is responsible for the big grin on my face. i also wandered into a store that, in the back, had a little cache of english books (TO MY DELIGHT, since i neglected to bring any) and picked up “love in the time of cholera” and a p.g. wodehouse. i learned the name of my favourite breakfast food. i decided to look into changing my living situation, since the swami is not quite taking the hint and because i want to be closer to the ashram. 

from a certain perspective, you can analyze life just like a dream. i realized today that, more than lack of company, the force that troubles the waters of my mind is the lack of direction, the lack of something-to-do. and it occurred to me that directionless wandering has been my standing order for quite some time; school and college were forms through which i passed almost without noticing, my job at the brown palace hotel was always held at arms’ length, and my time in new orleans to date has basically been a case study in aimlessness. and here i find myself, halfway across the world, in precisely the same position as always but this time not by choice. in some circles i believe they refer to this as a wake-up call. 

life is learning; the lessons repeat themselves in different forms until you finally get the picture. and i think this time i have. What it means i don’t know; whether i start looking seriously at that psychology degree, or start hustling the art world harder, whatever — this trip is the gateway to something, and it’s time to set keel to breakers up in this bitch; i’ve been idle far too long. 

incedentally, the name of the breakfast food? idly. i’m telling you, just like a dream.